Moving On
by Bluegrass
Summary: Moving on...but did it have to mean in different directions for Christian and Syed!


A/N: The characters of Christian and Syed, affectionately known as Chryed, belong to the producers of Eastenders; a UK soap. This is just my take and what I'd like to think happened after Christian left the police station and they went back to his flat. And for all my worldwide readers. I recommend you check out the Youtube clips (Christian and Syed) – to better understand the characters and their storyline and since references are made to things that have happened in various episodes; which all you astute Chryed fans, I'm sure, will recognise. Besides which, these two just have such amazing chemistry together, it's always a pleasure just to watch them. And I guess a warning is necessary. This is adult in nature, very ADULT. So please, consider yourselves suitably WARNED. It's in this section for a reason! If this sort of subject matter isn't your cup of tea; don't read.

Moving On

"You going to invite me home?" Syed had asked, with that, oh so adoring, puppy-dog expression.

Christian could still barely believe it. Syed had waited for him all this time. He had fully expected the younger man to have long gone by now and to endure the lonely walk back home. Syed's moral support had been appreciated; coming with him, even offering to go in with him but that was perhaps the point at which he finally knew. This was something he would have to do, alone. Their relationship, he realised with sadness, seemed to have reached an impasse and he was starting to accept that there would probably never be anything more between them. Perhaps there had been too much hurt and anger already.

Yet Syed could be full of surprises, not to mention constantly confusing him. Sometimes he just never knew where he really stood with his young Muslim lover. And now, here he was, waiting for him, while he'd been in giving his statement; offering that glimmer of hope, even if it was just, friendship. Syed had obviously moved on already; passed all the annoyances they always seemed to bring out in each other. Could he? Perhaps with time...and a little help; despite what he'd said before about the danger of them even being friends.

So no, he wasn't about to turn his young companion away; hadn't yet reached that stage of being able to do without Syed close to him. With a pained smile, he reached out, brushing his fingers lightly against Syed's neck in an affectionate touch. "Come on, then."

They walked back to Christian's flat in companionable silence; Syed guessing that Christian probably didn't want to go into detail of what he'd had to tell the police about the attack or the circumstances leading up to it. He hadn't been entirely blameless, he knew that. Christian had told him, in one of those deeply intense moments, the only reason he had went with that bloke was because he was angry. _"I was angry, so angry with ya."_ He could hear his older lover's voice even now; husked with gentle reprimand. But somehow he knew and trusted Christian enough to have kept his name out of it; so he didn't ask.

And it was something Christian appreciated a lot...the silence. It was enough just to have Syed here with him, walking beside him. The fact Syed didn't ask for particular details meant a lot too; meaning the young Muslim had trusted him completely not to have involved him in any way. And he hadn't; even though the younger man was the reason he was 'drowning his sorrows' in the Vic and out of anger had allowed that guy to chat him up. Such then was the trusting bond between them; it would remain unspoken.

It was late afternoon when they eventually got back to the flat and only then did Syed realise just how tired and worn out his friend looked. This whole ordeal had really taken it out of him. Not only the vicious attack and having to spend hours giving the police his statement but all the angry, hurtful things that had passed between them. It had all taken its toll.

"You look tired, Christian."

"Yeah, am a bit," the older man admitted wearily.

And he was. God, he was tired. So damn tired of everything; the fighting, the arguments, of trying to convince Syed to stop denying who and what he was, of just trying to get him to be honest about his feelings; that they're good together. It was energy sapping and right now; he was exhausted.

"Tell you what. Why don't I make us something to eat...I bet you haven't eaten much all day," Syed suggested.

"You don't need...."

"I know...but I want to. And then after, we could...I don't know...sit down and watch some...telly!" the younger man continued, trying to remain upbeat.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Christian returned quietly.

"Ok, then." Syed steered his friend by the shoulders towards the sofa. "You sit down....and I'll go see what there is."

As Christian slumped wearily onto the sofa, Syed sensed a change in his one-time lover. It was more than just physical tiredness. Before, Christian just wouldn't have been able to resist a saucy remark, along with that leering lopsided grin of his that did sinful things to his insides, about what they 'could do after' something to eat. Christian could be annoying and infuriating at times, with his sexually provocative suggestions, made to get a rise out of him he knew but his annoyance was only because he had to fight so hard against his growing feelings for the older man.

But now; Christian seemed subdued, almost to the point of despairing resignation. That spark, that vitality, the mischievous humour he loved about the man; the thing that made Christian, well, 'Christian', just wasn't there. And he found himself missing it.

"Can you find what you need?" Christian asked, looking tiredly back over his shoulder. "Don't really want much anyway."

"Yes, thanks. I think I know my way around a kitchen," Syed jested, beaming that adorable smile of his. "And if I find any dhall, I promise...I won't hit you with it."

That brought a weary laugh from the direction of the sofa. Just what Syed had hoped for.

Christian though was beginning to feel a bit guilty now, at sitting back and letting Syed do all the work; so, went to get up. "I should give you a hand."

"Don't even think about it, Christian. You'll sit there and rest until this is ready," he ordered firmly. "It won't be long...plus, I've got everything under control."

And he had to admit; he did love Syed being in control; taking care of him like this, even if it wouldn't last.

And for Syed, there it was. That 'thing' Christian did with his mouth, pursing his lips together in that quiet, happy lopsided smile; like the one Christian gave him when he walked into the cafe after that first night spent together, although this one didn't quite reach his eyes the same.

The little memory flooded his mind, as his tired friend slumped back down onto the sofa.

"_What can I do you for, handsome?"_ Christian had purred, in those throaty dulcet tones, leaning across the table so no one else could hear. Christian had been happy, so happy right then. And what had he done! Gone and told him how stupid it had been, made out like it was nothing at all. In a few short moments, with a few cold words, he had gone and taken it all away from him. Watched, as that beautiful smile faded and handsome face crumpled. Yet, it had secretly thrilled him to hear Christian tell him, reassuring him, just how 'beautiful' their night together had been. But did he tell him that! No. Just some more cold words, "_Well anyway...just as long as we got that sorted" _and then he'd left him, just sitting there, hurting...again.

It had been like a stab in the heart to Christian, or a punch in the face; he knew that. But fear had, once again, set in; fear of the intensity of his feelings for his older lover, fear of it all coming out and he had had to get out of there fast, before his resolve had crumbled completely.

He hated himself for it and for how he'd constantly kept trying to drive Christian away, by deliberately hurting him. And yet the man kept coming back for more. In truth, if he was being honest with himself, he didn't really want Christian to give up; for it showed him just how much Christian wanted him. But now, he had to wonder if he hadn't gone just one step too far; on the night of his engagement party. Alone in the kitchen, he had really hurt Christian bad; viciously grasping his hand and tossing it aside when the older man had tried to tenderly touch his face, after one more pleading. _"Never. Touch. Me. Again"_ had venomously spewed from his mouth, to which Christian had and rightly so, threw it bitterly back in his face; right here in this flat, after he'd come to see if Christian was alright.

Is that what he was doing here now! Trying to assuage his guilt! All he knew was, he hoped, in some way, to begin trying to mend their broken relationship; and hope it wasn't too late.

Taking a deep breath, Syed broke from his reverie and a short time later...! "Ok, come and get it....it's ready."

The meal was a simple affair but it was the company more than anything else that mattered to both. They exchanged small talk, each taking care to avoid certain sensitive subjects; neither wanting to jeopardize or damage the fragile peace that was just starting to build between them. But after, as they started to clear away!

"Christian, what is it!" Syed asked, becoming instantly concerned when the hunky Londoner sucked in a breath and winced as he clasped his side.

"It's nothing," he assured.

"It's not 'nothing', Christian. You were kicked in the ribs, for god's sake. Are you sure there's nothing broken?"

The concern in the young Muslim's voice was heartbreakingly clear for him to hear.

"No....they assured me at the hospital there was nothing broken. Just badly bruised," Christian replied wearily. "Bit sore, that's all."

"Your face too?" Syed added softly.

Christian nodded. "They gave me painkillers...if I needed them."

"Well, I want you to take some now then," the younger man insisted.

For a moment, Christian almost got lost in Syed's look of deep concern. The way his brow furrowed; making the young man look so serious, way beyond his years; as if Syed couldn't bear to see him in pain. He was forceful, assertive, taking control again; just like when Syed insisted he go to the police.

Syed did care about him; he knew that. But it was breaking his heart that it wasn't in the way he wanted it to be. _"I do care about you, Christian. I just...can't be what you want me to be."_

The Londoner bravely fought back the rising well of emotion. Swallowing hard and with a pained smile, he nodded.

"Over there...by the bed." Christian indicated to a small bottle on the short wall that separated the sleeping area.

Retrieving the pills, Syed momentarily found his eyes wandering. That bed. Christian's bed. The very thought of it made his body come alive with memory; electrifying sparks shooting down his spine and deep into his groin. Christian had 'taken' him in this bed, made love to him in this bed and shown him the true pleasures of all-male loving. It had been after that incredible sexually-charged 'gotcha' moment, when Christian had freely admitted, _"Yeah...you have"_, in that husky voice and he had immediately given in. And yes, the day after, still much to his shame, telling the hunky Londoner it had all been another mistake.

But it had been beautiful, incredible in fact. It hadn't been like those other one-night stands in any way. Christian had been gentle with him, with all the sensitivity and understanding of an older, mature lover. Yet he had been extremely sensuous; shown him what it was like to be truly made love to by another man. It hadn't just been sex but a total merging of body, mind and soul and that's what had made it beautiful. Yes, Christian had made love to him; glorious, mind-blowing love, here in this bed and it was all he could do to stop himself 'cumming' at the thought.

Quickly shaking the vivid image free from his head he returned, gave Christian the pills he needed and ordered him again to go sit down. "..........go, Christian. I'll finish up here in the kitchen."

Too tired to argue, Christian meekly obeyed and Syed watched, as his well-built former lover eased himself gingerly down onto the sofa and let his head fall back.

Minutes later, Syed flopped down onto the small cosy sofa and picked up the remote. "So, what are we watching....you want to see anything in particular?" he asked brightly.

"Don't matter," Christian replied wearily, exhaling a deep breathy sigh.

It always had the power to do sinful things to his insides; that deep breathy sigh as he spoke and he wondered if Christian even knew he was consciously doing it. Probably not. It was just part of who Christian was; knowing how to be seductively alluring without even trying.

Syed flicked idly through the channels, when something caught his eye.

"Do they look like giant seagulls to you!" he asked, in amusement. "Bet you anything they're going to Pakistan!"

"Or London!" Christian quipped back.

And both had to laugh at the happy little memory.

But the painkillers were beginning to take effect now and Christian was fast losing the battle to keep his eyes open, even though one eye was almost swollen shut as it was.

The dark-haired young Muslim couldn't help but smile. "Come here, sleepyhead."

And without thought, Syed slid an arm around the broad shoulders and eased Christian down against him, shifting himself into the corner to make it more comfortable for both of them.

Christian went happily into the younger man's embrace; keeping his injured side and bruised face uppermost. It felt good and safe and the warmth of Syed's slim, fit body surrounded and enveloped him like a comforting blanket. It was like, coming home. It didn't matter right then that it was probably nothing more than that of one friend comforting another for Syed; he just needed the younger man to be here, watching over him; holding him. Feeling now the strong and steady rhythmic beat of Syed's heart and with the young Muslim beginning to idly stroke his back, he started to drift.

It had felt a completely natural thing for him to do; to pull Christian to him to give his friend the comfort he needed. Christian was hurting and it wasn't just physically. The Londoner had made that painfully clear too, earlier. And he knew, if he was being honest with himself, that he had beat up Christian emotionally; said a lot of harsh and cruel things, just to get Christian to leave him alone. And yet he constantly gave the older man other 'signals'. No, he couldn't blame Christian for being confused, feeling emotionally battered and having been treated _appallingly,_ to use Christian's own words.

"Sy....I'm sorry. Shouldn't 'ave kept pushing ya. So sorrrry.....," Christian murmured sleepily against his younger companion.

And that just about broke his heart; to hear that apology. Because it almost felt like Christian was finally letting him go; like he was prepared to move on. He had sensed something change in Christian, ever since leaving his former lover at the police station and Christian had thanked him before going in; like he was getting used to going it alone and accepting they could be nothing more than friends. He should be happy now. Shouldn't he!

"No...it's me that's sorry, Christian," Syed whispered softly. "I should never have hurt you the way I did. You don't deserve that. I'm sorry, Christian....my beautiful Christian."

And to Syed, he was beautiful; despite the bruises and badly swollen eye. He leant down and brushed a soft kiss against the older man's forehead; against the careworn lines; now just a little more visible. But they were good lines; lines that added character to a man very much in his prime.

And just before he finally drifted into sleep, Christian was sure he felt a familiar soft kiss brush his skin.

But it _was_ more than just giving Christian comfort, out of a sense of guilt. Syed was enjoying holding the man; having a sleeping Christian lay against him. It felt comfortable, it felt good; it finally felt _right_. And just for a while, he allowed himself the luxury of imagining how it could be, being together like this, if they were truly a couple. If only they could stay locked away like this, cocooned in their own little world, just the two of them; no family, no religion, no community, no-one to disapprove and tell them it was wrong for them to be together. Why did it have to mean sacrifice! His personal happiness....and Christian for his family, his faith, his community! Why couldn't they just love and accept him for who he was! But life isn't fair and things are never that simple.

Maybe life is never meant to be fair though, or easy. Maybe we're meant to fight for the things that matter most to us, are important, because that way we'll appreciate them so much more; never take them for granted. He thought immediately of cousin Sameena. Perhaps Christian _was_ right, as Christian's been right about so many things, only he was always too stubborn and fighting him to see it. She followed her heart...and perhaps found something that mattered more.

Relaxing like this with Christian, he knew things were changing for him and as he continued to softly stroke Christian's body, he found himself reflecting on what it was about the man, asleep in his arms. Okay, he couldn't escape the strong physical attraction and he wasn't being shallow. It was just the way it was; inescapable. Christian's body was amazing, for a start; all broad shoulders, muscle and haired chest. It made him an imposing presence; especially when he brushed up close. The air just sizzled between them. It was the way his lips parted, at certain times and that East London accent; it was the way he carried himself. There were all the things he'd thought about already; the lopsided grin, that sexy thing he did of biting at his bottom lip when smiling, the gravelled tone to his voice in those sexually-charged moments and that breathy exhale.

But it was more than just the physical. He was a smart, intelligent man; flirtatous and funny. Christian made him laugh, even though he could be exasperating at times. But the main thing that had attracted him was how strong a person he'd always found Christian; how self-assured and self-confident he was. He wasn't ashamed of who he was and was prepared to stand up for himself against all-comers; would not let anyone put him down or berate him for the way he chose to live his life. After all, he'd stood up against his mother Zainab, Bushra and her friends at that party; the aftermath of which had set this whole thing betweem them in motion.

He so admired and even envied Christian for being able to be that strong and wished he could be like him. Yes, Christian was a little vulnerable now and his confidence was down. Understandable though in light of such a brutal attack but it was hopefully only temporary. He fully intended to give Christian his complete support, to be here for him. Who knows; maybe they could help each other and he could draw the strength he needed from his sleeping companion and find the courage within. To stand up and say, "this is who I am...accept me."

Yes, there were so many things that attracted him about the man asleep in his arms; that made Christian such an irresistible package.

But the idyll was soon broken. Christian suddenly jerked against him, accompanied by a grunt of pain. Various emotions, of shocked surprise, anguish and fear then continued to flit across the bruised chiselled features while he still slept. And Syed realised. Christian was reliving the attack.

He immediately tightened his embrace. "Ssshh, ssshh...it's ok, Christian. You're safe...you're safe here with me. I promise." Cradling his head, Syed placed another soft kiss on the older man's forehead. And the soothing comfort seemed to work.

He had just got Christian settled again then when the ring-tone on his phone started. Should have turned that off but he'd forgotten all about it. Quickly but carefully, so as not to wake Christian, he fished the phone out of his jeans pocket and flipped it open. And his eyes rolled at seeing who it was.

"Mum...what'd you want?" he asked, keeping his voice barely above a whisper.

"_Syed...where are you? You didn't come home for dinner."_

"No, mum. I'm at Christian's."

"_Christian's! Why are you at Christian's!"_

"I persuaded him to go to the police this afternoon and went with him for moral support...."

"_And!"_

And suddenly he felt very defensive of Christian; just like when his mother had made that offensive remark, at the Unit, about "all those horrible homosexual things he does in public toilets". He loved his mother, he did but that had really angered him. And it annoyed him now that she was looking for nothing more than a few juicy titbits.

"And.....he was really tired when he got out. So, I said I'd make him something to eat back at the flat."

"_Well,_ _couldn't Jane do that! She is his sister!"_

"And I'm his friend, Mum. Let me see...what _was _it you said! "When you your friend needs you, you drop everything and just go". Well, Christian needs me."

"_You're right. You are such a good boy, Pappoo. Well, anyway....I suppose you'll be back later then...__we can talk more about this wedding. And why are_ _you talking so quietly...I can hardly hear you? Are you hiding in a closet or something!"_

Syed felt a sudden flush to his face. If only she knew just what 'closet' he was hiding in!

"Christian's sleeping...and I don't want to wake him," was the only explanation he felt the need to give.

Now, time to be brave. He looked down at his bruised friend, smiled quietly and took a deep breath.

"And no...I won't be back later. Christian's too fragile right now...so I'm staying. Look, goodnight Mum....I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, he quickly shut his phone off before she had a chance to say anything else.

With an air of triumph, he reached over the side of the sofa and set his phone down on the table. It always felt good to be assertive; he just wished he had the courage to be more assertive in 'other' matters.

And his mother had mentioned it; he wished she hadn't. The wedding. Just for a while, he'd wanted to forget all that existed. It had been his own fault, of course; rushing headlong into the proposal, the very public proposal; just to prove a point. And now he couldn't help but wonder if that's where the true mistake really lay!

With the warmth too of Christian's powerfully-built body invading his own, there was one other person he hadn't given much thought to; in fact, none at all. Amira! None of this was her fault; she was the innocent in all of this. He was fond of her, held her in great affection. They got along and she was beautiful, no doubt about it. Outwardly and to all intent and purposes, she would make him the ideal wife. But Christian had been right...again. That vital ingredient; that spark, was missing.

"_And when you hold her hand! What's that like!"_ Nothing, compared to what he felt when he was with Christian. Just being close, without even touching, was enough sometimes. He never once felt like that when he was with Amira, or any woman he'd ever flirted with. God, he hated this man sometimes, for being right and knowing him so well. Hated him and loved him; all rolled into one.

It was some time later but eventually Christian began to stir; feeling that fuzzy warmth of just having aroused from much-needed sleep. And now he knew why it had felt so good. He had fallen asleep against Syed and Syed had let him. Christian raised his face a little but couldn't bring himself yet to break contact and move from the comforting warmth of the younger man's body.

"Hi, sleepyhead," the softly smiling face greeted him.

That smile. That dazzling 'gotcha' smile that so held him captive. It got him every time. Had the power to turn his world upside down and did.

"mmmm....what time is it?" Christian murmured back, still sleepy while raising himself up with one hand against Syed's chest.

"Late."

"You should go," Christian suggested. His voice husked with the pained sadness at the thought of them parting.

**********

......All that he was. Everything he felt. All the hurt, the pain and frustration, all the good times, happiness and passion, all his hopes and dreams of a future together with Syed and all he now felt he would invariably lose, went into that glorious fuck. To the young man writhing beneath him; face bathed in the beauty of such ecstasy, he thought his heart would burst. To the young man clawing so desperately at his back, as they moved in frenzied rhythm; digging in so hard, he knew he would have new bruises by morning. And to the young man calling out his name, as they fast reached the height of their passion. He loved how his name sounded in breathy wonder on Syed's lips; almost like an act of worship.

So, just how had they gotten to this point! Of him telling Syed he should go, to ending up in bed together! He wasn't entirely sure; his brain so fogged and jizzed now with impending orgasm. He vaguely remembered; it had all been Syed. That's what surprised him, considering where their relationship was at. But yes, Syed had taken the initiative.

He had just told the young man he should go, it was late.........

**********

And there it was; one of those moments. One of those incredibly intense, sexually-charged moments.

And both felt it. As surely as they drew breath. As surely as the sun rose in the sky.

Eyes locked. No words were needed. But it was Syed who knew he had to make the first move. He had confused Christian enough already with his mixed signals and now, as much as he could see the want in the older man's eyes, he could also see the fear of uncertainty; of not wanting to assume and get it so wrong.

Keeping eyes locked, Syed reached out and curled his fingers tenderly round Christian's muscular neck; immediately eliciting an intake of breath from the older man. He then did what he should have done the day before; what he had so wanted to do before going all moody and storming out. He leant over and pressed the softest of kisses against that _nasty_ bruise.

Christian let his eyes fall shut; allowing himself to get lost in the ecstasy of the moment. Another kiss was pressed against the painfully swollen eye, then another to the gash on his forehead. All the time Christian revelled in the touch; feeling those beautiful warm lips against his now rapidly heating skin. And now he let his eyes drift open; half-lidded with want and need. Because both knew there was only one place left to go; one more injury on his face to kiss better and he wanted to watch Syed go there.

And that mouth was calling him; that deliciously sinful mouth of Christian's that had just dropped open a little, in obvious anticipation. He remembered the first time he'd wanted to feel that mouth against his. It had been in the Unit, in the heated aftermath of Bushra's party and they were clearing up. Well, Christian was clearing up and he had just come to find him. And Christian _was_ pumped; steaming in fact and who could blame him. His whole lifestyle and who he was had just been publicly judged as something vile and abhorrent. God, there had been nothing like an 'angry' Christian, to set the pulse racing. And he had wanted to taste and feel that mouth against his so bad.

And now, here he was again; that mouth so dangerously close and tantalising. Syed leant in and pressed a kiss that he let linger, to the split lower lip. Both felt the other's warm breath ghost across their skin. One kiss became two, before becoming a series of mutual stabbing kisses; which then quickly descended into the depths of full-on hot and hungry kissing. It was like they had been starved of something vital, something necessary to life; like food, water and now they were fully able to sate themselves with the abundance of what was on offer.

Christian was very much awake now and the heat rose quickly in his body, dulling any residual pain in his side and face. Syed was clearly the only 'painkiller' he really needed! All that mattered now was the moment...and where they were going. Syed was giving and he would take it.

And before he knew it, Syed was leading him by the hand, over to the bed. It seemed like the roles had been reversed now. That first time, it had been him, who was gentle and understanding in taking his young lover to bed. Syed may not have been completely virginal, where men were concerned but he was still pretty much a novice. Now it was Syed who was showing all the maturity of a sensitive lover.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Syed undressed him....slowly. And then let him help in undressing him. He had thought he would never be in this position again; to have the moody young man again share his bed. Was it any wonder now, he couldn't take his eyes off the feast of hot flesh that was gradually being revealed.

And it was good for Syed too!

Together, they lay down; and it was like they'd never been apart. There was no awkwardness, no embarrassment; only familiarity. Almost instantly, their naked bodies wrapped and entangled around each other; wanting and needing each other. And they became locked, once more, in heated kissing. With the kissing, came fierce arousal; hands everywhere, ragged breaths and growls of pleasure getting lost in each other's mouths. And the more they became aroused, the more they stirred up 'all those dirty little thoughts' in each other.

They both knew it and both knew the other was turned on by it. Syed was his 'dirty little thought', every time he looked at him. How could he not be! And...if his impulsive young lover went ahead with this sham marriage, he would at least take cold comfort in knowing _he _would always be Syed's. That every time he would be with Amira, _he_ would be the 'dirty little thought' in Syed's head.

They were a long time getting to know each other again, enjoying each other and Syed had definitely become more confident; experimental even. He had been a good pupil, taken what he had learnt, remembered what pleased and what he himself enjoyed and was now giving it all back. They took it in turns to kiss, lick and suck their way up and down each other's bodies, in a sensuous game of 'Follow My Leader'.

The highlight of the 'game' for Christian had been when, without any hesitation, his adventurous lover 'went down on him'. It had pleased him immensely; not to mention make him lose his mind. The idea of that particular 'game' had been to see who could get the closest to making the other 'come', without actually letting them 'cum'; if you get the meaning! And Christian had played the 'game' expertly, as befitted his experience, leaving a trembling and somewhat frustrated Syed to have to cool down.

But Syed; he hadn't stopped. Pleasuring his older lover until Christian finally let go. Panting and trembling and fingers still entangled in those long dark locks, Christian could barely believe what Syed had just done for him. It had almost been an act of love.

More kissing and caressing and it wasn't long before Christian was deliciously hard and ready again...and mindful that his young lover had yet to be satisfied. Something he intended to take care of immediately!

The soft whimpers of initial pain from Syed, while he entered his young lover, brought only words of loving encouragement from Christian; of, "just a little more, babe" and "be so worth it...I promise".

And he was right; Christian was always right. Face to face and with Syed laid before him, Christian powered his way home, with long determined strokes; eliciting deep pleasurable groans from both. Soon they were lost in the crazy, frenzied rhythm of lovemaking; Syed grasping at Christian's strong body, as he rocked hard. It was sensual and beautiful; it was sheer raw energy and passion.

And then they were there; standing on the edge of that glorious abyss, about to spill over.

Yes...all the hurt, the pain, his hopes, his dreams and all that he would lose, went into that fuck session. And Christian thought he'd never seen anything quite so beautiful, as when Syed 'came' for him; crying his name. Seconds later, his own body exploded in white hot heat, sending him into a trembling mess; a place he never wanted to leave. No doubt about it. His Syed was the fuck of the century. And he needed to remember this for a long time.

Sweat-soaked and still trembling from their exertions, they lay together for a while, exchanging kisses of deep satisfacton. Then Syed once again took on the role of caring, tender lover. Wrapping his arms around, an exhausted Christian, he soothed and stroked until his older lover fell asleep. At one point during the night, Christian woke and lay, just watching Syed sleep. Gazing in wonder, tinged with a little sadness, at those soft brown eyes closed in peaceful sleep. And when Christian became restless, Syed was there, to soothe and comfort, pressing soft kisses to his back.

Mid-morning and Christian stirred. Laid on his back and with an arm lazily draped on the pillow behind him, he was still warm with the memory of last night. He rolled his head to the side and instantly, his heart sank. The place beside him was empty; he was alone in his bed. Had his scared young lover bolted! Had he made another 'mistake'...again!

Syed. His beautiful but moody Syed; with his swarthy dark looks and athletic body. Chocolate brown eyes that just sucked you in and that heavy stubble! It all served to give him that look of 'dirty, hot sex'. He was built for temptation. Ironic really.... considering!

Syed. A maelstrom of such conflicting opposites it did his head in at times. Syed. The young man who could send him soaring to the heavens one minute and crashing headlong into despair the next, with just a look or a few words.

Why did he bother, putting himself through all this heartache! Good question. That day in the cafe, when he'd been so crestfallen, Jane had teased him about being 'in love'. He had snorted at the idea. But only because he hadn't thought it possible; hadn't happened to him before. Hadn't thought it could ever sneak up on him without him knowing. But it must have done. Because he had fallen so hard; so fast.

But it wasn't just all the physical in his attraction for Syed; he wasn't that shallow. They were opposites; yes. But opposites that gelled well together. Syed, so serious, intense and ambitious, for all his twenty-five years; he, at thirty-seven, relaxed about life and able to see the funny side...normally. Sometimes it had been hard to know which of them was the older! But Syed had always kept him grounded; was doing so even now. Syed stood no nonsense from him; wasn't afraid to tell him what was what and reprimand him with just a look when Syed thought he was being silly. And Syed kept him young. They were good together; why couldn't he see that! If only he could move past this, being repressed, then they could truly get somewhere.

With bitter disappointment, he silently resolved not to let it happen again. It was just too painful; hurting him more than any physical pain. And yet Syed Masood had become his one weakness. He knew the dark-haired young Muslim would only have to look at him with that adoring worship...and he'd be undone; fall every time and give in. Yes, Syed was his 'mistake'; one he would keep making, time and time again.

It was the rattling of crockery on a tray that instantly caught his attention and he turned over. And there he was. Upper body glowing, hair slicked back and damp, with a towel slung low on his hips and carrying a breakfast tray. He looked so totally comfortable and at home.

"Sy! I thought....I thought you'd....."

".....gone! Made another 'mistake'!" Syed finished for him, with a quiet smile. "I don't blame you, Christian. But I'm done doing that. Now, here...eat up. You're going to need this!" And Syed set the breakfast tray down on Christian's lap.

The look of puzzlement on Christian's face was clear. But Syed just proceeded to reach for and then flip open his phone.

"Mum....."

Probably just going to tell her he's running late and he'll be in down at the Unit soon; Christian thought to himself and started to eat something.

_"Yes, Mum...no, Mum. _Mum....will you just listen....."

A roll of eyes and exasperated breath from his handsome young lover told Christian Zainab was prattling away on the other end. And he had to smile.

"Look. Meet me at home. Lunchtime........" Their eyes locked. "......there's something I need to tell you."

And hope dared rise in Christian yet again; causing him to suddenly let go the breath he'd been holding.

"Sy! Are you sure! What...what made you change your mind?"

The hope shining now from that beautiful face, that bruised and battered face, was almost too much.

"You did," Syed breathed softly. "You were right, Christian. You've always been right. I can't fight it. And I don't want to fight you anymore."

Eyes welling with emotion, Christian simply held out a hand. And taking it, Syed leant down, where a lingering kiss was exchanged.

"Come on...eat up. You can't face my mother on an empty stomach. And I do not...intend facing my mother...alone!"

A wry smile curled on Christian's mouth and he started to eat; only too willing to obey. Syed took a deep breath.

"Guess that leaves only one person then!"

Christian pressed his lips together and slowly nodded encouragement; as he had done once before.

"Amira......."

It was time to move on for both of them now....but move on together.

A/N: Reference made earlier to dhal. Dhal (or dal) is a preparation of split or whole pulses and lentils, used in South Asian cooking.


End file.
